I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I haven't been this sober since birth.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
