Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
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so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
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My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.