You can't special order awesome
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.