he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him