guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
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I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
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Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED