saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Dating After Heartbreak
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
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In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!