I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Your penis caused this!
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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