wat bout pragnant strippers??
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize