your parents love me but you hate me
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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