God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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