he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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