You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
