worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
