Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Michael Bay diarrhea
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
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There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
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He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I just blew my weed a kiss
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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