I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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