I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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