sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
