I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Acid is not a monday night drug
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize