after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize