remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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