My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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