i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
