i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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