I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize