those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs