I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize