Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
