How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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