i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
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