There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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