Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
