I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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