life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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