You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize
