I am in a vortex of obligation.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
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It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
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You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Just puked most of my soul out..
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize