I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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