I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
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