Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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