Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
