I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
