I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I could make wine with my vomit
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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