Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I just got carded by a ten year old.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
