Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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