I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
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The air was thick with penises
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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