I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
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