I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
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I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
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I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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