I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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