im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
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