im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
