Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
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