I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
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Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
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At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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