Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
i dont even know how to be here
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Text me some of your sweat
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