Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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