Apparently you make a good broom.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
